Undo Our Past Mistakes
by pumpkinpiespice
Summary: "It's just coffee." Says the man in navy scrubs. He pushed a cup of coffee towards her. She took a sip of it and began their romance. "You still drink it, right?" The man handing out coffee no longer wears navy scrubs. And she was also no longer the inexperienced, grumpy intern. She is an outstanding cardio-thoracic surgeon now, just like him. Can they start their romance again?
1. Author's Note

Author's note

Hello everyone my name is Janice. I had just started Grey's a few months ago. I love Crowen, but Burktina is my inspirational couple! I think Grey's didn't give Burktina a proper ending, so here I am writing a fan fiction!

In this fan fiction I will be inserting pieces of past events into the present timeline (if that make sense). It may be a bit confusing at first but I will try my best to make it clear for all of you to read. The "present" timeline is about season 12, and the "past" timeline started right after Cristina left Seattle.

This is my first English fan fiction, as English is not my mother tongue, so if there's any grammatical mistakes, weird usage of words or confusing sentences, ignore them please. Please show me some support by R&R!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter. 1

"Dr. Ross."

"Oh! Dr. Burke! What a surprise seeing you here! Are you here to check in on Dr. Yang again?" The resident followed his previous boss to the elevator and asked.

"I can assure you, Dr. Yang did a great job in running this hospital. Our revenue increased steadily, children from all around the world come to Zurich hoping to get on her phase four conduit trial. We had just finished printing a heart and is ready to test it on animals…"

"Dr. Ross." Burke raised his hand to stop the nervous resident's rambling.

"Yes sir?"

"Shut up." He left the resident standing in the hall and walked into the elevator. He pressed the button and stick his hands into his pocket.

* * *

3 years ago, he invited Cristina to give a lecture on her conduit trial in Zurich, and offered her the hospital afterwards. He then moved to Milan with his wife, Edra and their kids. However, he still goes back to the hospital occasionally. Everyone, including Edra, just thought he is a complete control freak who can't let go of his institute, while only him and Cristina knows the real reason.

Just before Burke move to Milan, he scrubbed in on a surgery with her. The memories that are hidden deep in his heart for years flowed back, their memories in Seattle Grace feels like yesterday. Everything had seemed to be changed, but something always remained the same.

After the surgery, Burke turned down the invitation for a farewell party, and headed to her office – which once was his. He knocked on the door and quietly push the door open.

"Hey. I am not disturbing you right?"

"Not at all. Erm, I thought you were supposed to be at that stupid farewell party now?"

"I was, but as you say it is stupid. And I hate those occasions."

"Um, so, uh, how about I order us some dinner, as my personal, small farewell or whatever for you?"

Burke raised his eyebrows in surprise. He never see that coming. Although Cristina took his offer to run his institute, he believes that Cristina still hold a grudge against him. He often thinks that she only accept that offer because of those 3D printers. Half a year ago, he would never imagine them being able to sit together at the same room, let alone sharing dinner.

Their food came quickly, the two of them sat on the couch in the corner, having their dinner while discussing about the surgery just now. Suddenly, Cristina let out a little chuckle.

"Something funny Dr Yang?" Burke asked in curiosity.

"Nah, just… remember how we used to order Chinese food and talk about surgeries in our apartment?"

"We only do that because you hated me cooking. Do you remember one time we had dinner with Grey and Shepherd and you refuse to eat the food I made? It's such a disaster."

"You are the one who refused to feed me! And you know what a real disaster is? You and Izzie Stevens cooking a turkey TOGETHER on Thanksgiving."

"I though you enjoyed that turkey! Right?"

"Actually, I only remember myself enjoying the booze. Hey, remember heart in the elevator?"

"That one is impossible to forget. O'Malley is my guy! I even let him crashed on my couch for a few weeks. Before you made me kicked him out by walking around naked."

"Now that was embarrassing. Why would I do that back then?"

"By the way, how's George now? I heard that Grey and Shepherd married now? And how's Stevens, Karev and Bailey? Oh and Sloan! Is that man still a whore?"

Hearing those familiar names, Cristina felt a dull ache in her chest. Her laughter paused for a second, she took a sip of wine before recalling all those hurtful memories.

"Mer and McDreamy are married now and have two kids. Zola, an African orphan who they adopted four years ago, and Bailey, he is two years old, super adorable. Evil Spawn became a Peds surgeon – yeah I know, it's kinda unbelievable. We all thought he would eat those kids alive, but turns out he is really good with children. He is with an intern now, classic Seattle Grace relationship right? And Bailey remarried to a former-anesthesiologist-now-surgical-resident."

"Well seems like everyone's been quite…"

"Izzie got skin cancer a few years ago, stage 4 when we found out. She married Alex, and divorced after she recovered. Then she got fired when Seattle Grace merge with Mercy West, Derek said she is working in Tacoma now. George… he died. In a car crash, trying to save a woman. Callie is a bisexual now. And guess what, her first lesbian lover is Erica Hahn. The Erica Hahn. I could never understand what Callie sees in that woman. Anyway so Callie had a baby with Sloan, but she and Sloan is more like friends with benefits, because Callie married the chief of Peds. And Sloan, he was less of a man whore after hooking up with Lexie, aka Meredith's half-sister. But Sloan and Lexie both died in a plane crash a year ago, which explains why Seattle Grace is called Grey-Sloan Memorial now. "

"Wow, that's… a lot… to…" Burke cannot believe his ears, it had been seven years only, and nearly everyone he knew from Seattle Grace was dead or gone.

"A lot to digest? Yeah, it took me a few years to get used to not having Bambi and Izzie in the locker rooms."

Waves of silence hit them. They stared at their own wine glass, each figuring what to say.

"I'm sor…" His words were cut off by her.

"You know… things changed a lot after you have gone. I always wonder what it would be like if you stayed. And I always wanted to know… have you… have you ever regret leaving Seattle? Leaving… me… on our wedding day?" She swallowed her saliva difficultly, considering the right word to use when asking him a question that had been in her head for seven years.

She stared right into his eyes, being slightly drunk seems giving her courage to ask this question that could tear her never-properly-healed-wound open again. Burke looked the woman he loved – probably still loves- quietly, trying to give her a suitable answer.

He wasn't going to lie. He knows once he tell her his answer, everything is going to change.

"Always."

She stared him right into his eyes. He slowly approached her, using his fingers to outline her jaw. Feeling drops of tears started to roll down her cheek, he gently swipe them away with his thumb. She closed her eyes, and her eyelashes keep on flickering like the wings of a butterfly. His lips landed on hers softly, and turned into a passionate kiss quickly. A kiss that had not experienced by either of them in years. When their lips touched, it's like a key finding their lock, like they were designed for each other.

His white shirt dropped on the floor. She closed her eyes, her fingers reached his left shoulder. She found that subtle gunshot scar there and swept her lips across the flesh.

"Good, cause I wish you do."


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Your reviews means the world to me. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

* * *

Chapter 2

The elevator's door opened. Burke walked out from the elevator swiftly. The institute looked the same, the staff, the decorations, the floor plan, the scrubs, everything is just the same as when he leaves.

Well, technically he never really left.

"Preston! What a surprise!"

He turned and see his former colleague, Weiss, grinning at him.

"Weiss. I am just stopping by and trying to see if everything's okay."

"I remember telling you a thousand times that you really don't need to be worry. Cristina did a wonderful job in running the institute. She started a lot of new policies to attract young, gifted surgeons. And I have to say, they worked! We've now got interns and residents from all over the world. World renowned surgeons also flew here to perform ground-breaking surgeries from time to time."

The two men walked down the hallways while Weiss keep babbling how wonderful Cristina is. Burke remained a faint smile while feeling super proud for Cristina inside. Suddenly, something caught his attention and widen his eyes disbelievingly.

An attending and an intern walked out from an on-call room while tidying their clothes, thought no one had saw them, and quickly walked away to different directions.

Weiss felt drops of sweat dripping down his forehead. What would his boss – his former boss- think of them? Slutty interns and slutty attendings get horny at work and hooking up in on-call rooms?

"For your information, those doesn't happen around here very often." Weiss explains to Burke, hoping he will not get mad and scold them for allowing these kind of things happen.

Out of his expectation, Burke laughed and said: "Well I guess that is another tradition from Seattle brought in by Cristina."

A confused Weiss stood there watching Burke walked away, trying figure out what exactly he means.

* * *

"Last night was completely a mistake." Cristina grumbled as she pull on her scrub top. "We should not be doing that, what was I thinking! It must be the alcohol."

She tied her hair into a ponytail swiftly, turned around and saw that Burke was still sleeping. She massaged her forehead and regretting the sex last night.

To be honest, it was great, hot and nostalgic. But her logic tell her that it is wrong. The man she had sex with is married, with kids. And she was supposed to be with Owen, even they are hundreds of miles apart. She SHOULD be in love with Owen, being with Owen is the RIGHT thing to do. But somehow she no longer had idea of what is correct and what is wrong as long as Preston Burke is involved.

She pinches herself to stop thinking about her messy personal life, and poured a cup of coffee down her throat to concentrate on the surgeries coming up. She put on her lab coat and left her office without waking Burke.

When Burke woke up, it had already been hours later. He sat up on the couch and saw a cup of cold coffee on the table beside him. He took the cup of coffee and drank it at once, and he saw the piece of note from the corner of his eyes.

"Burke, Last night should not be happening. Let's just pretend nothing happened and move on. C."

He crumpled the piece of paper into a ball and tossed it into the bin. He stood up and put on his shirt, while staring at the photo of Cristina and the interns on their first day of internship. He missed the days when he was working at Seattle Grace, he missed her. He thought last night was a sign of him having her back, but it seems like he was wrong. She didn't plan on coming back to him. But who can he blame? He was the one walked out on them.

Lifelong of regret seems to be the punishment for him to presume he is doing the correct thing to the woman he loves when he walked away.

The phone at Cristina's office rang suddenly. He hesitated for a moment, and reached to answer the phone.

"Hello, Dr Yang?"

"No, it is Dr Burke, Dr Yang is not in her office now."

"Oh, I thought… Never mind, thank you sir, we will see if she is in surgery."

"What happened?"

"The Zurich hospital of children just transferred a case to us, it's a 12 years old boy that have tumour in his heart. His resident, Dr Ross, said he would need a humpty dumpty surgery immediately. And Dr Yang isn't answering her page. So we decided to call her office to see if she was there."

"Tell Dr Ross to prepare the patient for a humpty dumpty surgery. And call the OR, tell them we will need a lot of blood. This surgery will need more than one leading surgeon, so I will be scrubbing in with Dr Yang. Speaking of that, try look for her in the 3D printer lab. She is probably there." Burke thought of it for a second, and order the nurse calmly.

"Right away, doctor."

He hung up the phone. Changed his suit into scrubs and left the office.

* * *

The next time he saw Cristina was in the OR. She walked into the OR, seemed surprised by Burke's presence.

"I thought you were on the plane now." She took a piece of sterile cloth from a nurse, and started to dry her hands.

"Dr Burke said you will need an extra set of hands for this surgery, so he postponed the flight to scrub in. Sir, it is an honour to see you perform a Humpty-Dumpty surgery." Shane answered for Burke, and began flattering him.

"Suck-up." Cristina hissed. Shane shrugged his shoulders, not care of her comment as he was going to witness THE Preston Burke operates.

"Alright, let's start the surgery. 10 blade." Burke cleared his throat to stop the childish argument that is about to start.

The surgery started smoothly, and quickly reached the part that requires the heart to be taken out from the chest. Cristina carefully took the heart out and placed it in the basin Shane has been holding for her.

"Nice work Dr Yang. You really have improved a hell lot." Burke smiled behind his mask. She is definitely his best student, also his proudest one.

"Dr Burke, I know that you worked at Grey-Sloan before, is Dr Yang one of your students?" Shane asked curiously, not noticing Cristina's death glare.

"To be exact, I worked at Grey-Sloan when it was still called Seattle Grace. And yes, Dr Yang is one of my student, also Dr Grey and Dr Karev." Burke answered the resident eagerly despite Cristina telling him to shut up by her glances.

"It is very lucky to have you as a teacher, I hope my teachers can be as good as you too."

"Hey hey, what do you mean by that? Are you saying that I am not qualified as your teacher? I am standing right here Ross!" Cristina complained while scraping off another mass from the heart.

"Dr Yang is an excellent teacher too, I am sure you can learn a lot from her." Burke chuckled at her childish hassle, while acknowledging her skills.

Cristina shot him a glimpse with complicated emotion inside. And quickly lowered her head again to work on the heart.

"So Dr Burke, can you tell me some of the most exciting cases you have encountered?"

"Sure. I remember when I was still working at Seattle Grace, I instructed two interns to operate on a heart in the elevator."

"Really? What happened?"

"There was a black out, and the interns were stuck in the elevator with the patient. The patient was coding and the only way to save him is to open his chest immediately. So I talked them through the procedure, and they cracked his chest in the elevator to save the patient. That is an unforgettable surgery in my career, but not the most dangerous one."

"There are cases even more exciting than this one?"

"Well there was another time, a guy with a bomb inside him came in, and I have to operate on him."

Cristina shot her head up when she heard him talking about the code black incident. It was nearly 10 years ago, but the incident that almost took the life of Meredith and Burke still pops up vividly from time to time. It was the worst nightmare for her, a hundred times worse than the gunman incident, probably because the man she loves was there, on the blink of death.

"I still remembered it was Meredith, well Dr Grey, who put her hand into the body cavity to stabilize the bomb. Very brave act, but also reckless. Then the bomb squad came to remove the bomb. Unfortunately, the bomb exploded after being removed from the patient." Burke closed his eyes trying to recall every detail.

"Wow! Dr Yang, were you there when the patient with a bomb in him came in?" Cristina rolled her eye at Shane's question. She silently damned him over and over for asking inappropriate questions.

"Yes, I was there." Cristina answered. The scene of Burke telling her to leave the OR popped up in her head. Waves of panic hit her, and made her mind shifted for a few second, unable to focus at the work she is doing.

"Damn it Cristina! What are you doing!" Burke shouted anxiously, and brought Cristina back from her daydreaming.

She looked down to see what happened, and realize that she had been scraping the same spot for too long and too hard that she had caused damage to the cardiac wall. At that point, she felt like being dropped into a frozen lake, her brain stopped working and her nerves can no longer transmit impulses to her muscles. She became a statue when she saw the heart in front of her bleed uncontrollably.

"Clamps. Give me more lap pads, keep on suctioning. Faster faster people! 2-0 prolene." Burke moved towards the basin and stepped in for Cristina. She was apparently shocked from the injury she had made to the heart, and now she is holding a scalpel and freezing at the same spot. He sighed and said, "Dr Ross, step in to replace Dr Yang."

The young resident hesitated. He don't have the guts to kick his mentor away from the table. But he surely don't want to ignore the orders from THE Preston Burke. God knows what would happen if he enraged the best cardio-thoracic surgeon in the world.

Shane quickly scanned through his options in his mind, and decided to choose the one with less consequence: step in and replace his mentor. He carefully removed the forceps and scalpels from Cristina's fist, and stood beside her, began suctioning.

Burke took a moment to look at Cristina, and saw a pair of familiar eyes on her face. She was frightened. He knows that look better than anyone else, as he had seen that before, when she was helping him to hide his tremors while operating on the pregnant lady that had a piece of glass shot into her heart.

* * *

After the surgery ended, Burke finished the chart for Cristina and entered the scrub room to clean up. He saw Cristina there, leaning against the sink and biting her nails. He stopped in front of the sink, grabbing a bar of sterile soap, started washing his hands and began to talk.

"You know, just now you should not froze in there. Tell me, what is on your mind and what is scaring you." He turned his head towards her, waiting for her response.

"And stop biting your nails. You are a surgeon, you know fingernails are dirty."

A moment of silence passed, and Cristina finally spoke up.

"You. YOU are what is scaring me." Her eyes were filled with tears.

"What?"

"Why do YOU have to return to MY life after seven years. Why do YOU have to offer ME your institute. Why do YOU have to bring ME here. Why do YOU have to come back to ME and tell me that you have a wife and two daughters now? Why do I still have feelings for you even you broke my heart? Your existence is scaring the crap out of me. Because I was supposed to be working very hard in Zurich and doing ground-breaking surgeries here. And I was supposed to love Owen. These are the correct things to do. And things that a sane Cristina Yang would do." The tears that are accumulating in her eyes finally overflow, tears ran down her cheeks crazily. She covered her face in her palms and allowed her emotion to take over her for a while.

He couldn't say a word. He always think that him leaving on their wedding is his blessing to her. She no longer need to bend herself just to make him happy. She will never need to be "Preston Burke's wife the cardio surgeon" and live under his shadow, she can be "Cristina Yang the cardio surgeon". Once, when he accidentally ran into Addison in Paris, she told him that Cristina got married with a trauma surgeon. He was then sure that he was not the one for her, although the news of her getting married broke his heart, he was happy that his departure is able to make her happy. He was happy to hear that she had found her meant to be.

But at this moment, the thing he had believed for seven years turns out to be his delusion. He thought he made a good call, but he never thought that she hasn't been able to move past the damage he had done even after all these years.

"I am sorry. I never… I thought me leaving is the best thing that has ever happened to you. I thought you would be happy if I left. I don't know how to make it up to you. But if you want me to leave, I will go. For good. I will never exist in your life again…"

"Don't you dare say a word about leaving anymore. You cannot just come back into my life this moment and disappear the next." Cristina closed her eyes and allowed her tears to rush down her face even more fiercely.

Burke pulled her into his arms and stroke her hair. He can felt that Cristina's body stop shivering gradually, and her breath slowed down to a normal rate. The two of them stood there, hugging each other quietly, until Cristina bit on Burke's shoulder hardly.

"Owwww! Cristina what are you doing! You can at least give me a heads up!" Burke howled in pain. Cristina giggled and say, "That's your punishment for making me freak out in the OR in front of my people."

Burke quickly kissed her lips, and replied, "This is me saying sorry."


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I am thrilled to see someone love my story! I am still working on the ending, if you have any ideas on how the story should end, let me know! I will be ecstatic to hear your thoughts!

* * *

Chapter 3

Finishing a 10 hours surgery, Cristina stepped out of the operation room exhausted. She whipped her phone out of her pocket to check for unread messages. Meredith's usual intern-dumbness-whines pops up immediately. She smiled slightly, and scroll down for more messages. And she saw his messages.

00:31 I am coming today.  
00:34 Will be staying for a week  
00:40 When will you get off?  
00:45 I can make you dinner at your apartment  
06:23 Text me back when you get out from the OR  
13:15 Hey I just landed  
13:17 Still in surgery?  
13:32 I will come find you  
13:33 Wait for me

Rolling her eyes slightly over his messages, Cristina shook her head with an uncontrollable grin. Shouldn't a fellow heart surgeon know how long their surgeries can take? This man just can't stop nagging, though she kind of like it.

Clicking into Music on her iPhone, she selected a song, their song, the Meredith and Cristina's song, she hummed along the melody of "Where does the good go" while brushing her fingertips.

* * *

When Cristina first arrived at Zurich, Meredith had already warned her not to do anything reckless, and to bear in mind that his mama shaved her eyebrows off and he left her at the altar seven years ago.

After she decided to take the offer from Zurich, she plays this voice message to herself every night before she goes to sleep. But somehow her mental hinting didn't work, as she woke up finding herself naked on the couch in her office, with Burke, who is also naked, for the eleventh time.

She stood up, pulling a blanket over her body and headed to the shower. When she stepped out from the bathroom in her office, Burke was already dressed and was making her coffee.

She sighed and sat on the couch, watching the man manipulating the coffee pot as he always does in her dreams, and quietly speaks.

"That was wrong. We should not have done this."

"You have said that for, like, twenty times already.

"You have a wife, and two daughters. You have a family. And I am not a member of the dirty mistress club. We made a mistake, for many times. But we can still fix this.

"How about we fix this in another way?" He placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of her. No sugar, just milk- exactly her taste.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She sipped the coffee, pretend she doesn't understand him and asked.

"I mean, I can divorce Edra. I know you don't like kids, it's okay. She can take the girls. I will move back to Zurich and we can start it all over. We can have a real relationship, we don't have to sneak around anymore. We can tell Meredith about us. We can… " His plans for the future was stopped by Cristina.

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. What do you mean by divorce?"

"A divorce is a legal procedure to officially declare the end of a marriage. Cristina, as a surgeon, I expected you to understand what a divorce means."

"Oh screw you, of course I know what divorce is. I mean, you are kidding right?"

"No, I am very serious. I never planned to let you go again. So? You don't want me?" Burke said as he raised his eyebrows in confusion. He thought things were good between them. But just like the time when they first started dating, Cristina gets a little bit crazy as things progress. He know they just rekindle their relationship no long ago, he might be moving too fast. But he is sure this time, especially after all those years, he is very sure that Cristina is the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Last time, things failed because he thought they were on the same page while they are not, this time he is not going to make the same mistake, that's why he is extra cautious on what she wants.

Cristina bit her lips, figuring out a way to say things out loud without bending their original meanings.

Of course she wanted to have a life with Burke, she had prepared herself to be his wife seven years ago. But things are different now. Seriously, she don't even care about his wife, she knows better than anyone else that Cristina Yang is the love of Preston Burke's life. She is not a keen believer in families, and she doesn't care about what people says. If being with Burke means that she have to be a dirty mistress, fine, who cares!

What makes her hesitate is his kids. His two daughters, Simone and Vivianna. It may sound weird for Cristina Yang to actually care about children. She still hate kids, but she knows what it's like to be growing up without a father.

She has a step-father, to be exact, a very warm, accepting and loving stepfather. He is the best step-father you can ever find in the world. Just not FATHER. It has always been a pity for her that her biological father didn't get to see her graduate from high school, or see her become a surgeon. She knows how painful it is to grow up without a father. She doesn't want other children to experience the same kind of pain she have, and she would never want to be the person that took the girl's father from them.

Cristina organized her thoughts and said, "Okay, I am not good at doing these kind of talks, but I have to now, so be patient, listen to everything before you decided to leave this room. I WANT to be with you. But I don't want you to leave your family for me. I grew up without a father, and that feels awful. I don't want you to leave your daughters, I don't want them to grow up without you being by their side. Do you understand me?"

She looked at Burke, waiting for his response. He showed her a grin, and pulled her up from the couch into his embrace.

"As long as you are allowing me to stay, everything is fine."


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: I am so sorry I have to kill Derek in my story... As i am trying to include everyone in the story, the only reason I can come up with to get Cristina back to Seattle is Derek's death. And I know that some of you doesn't like Burke being an adulterer. But I promise! It is not going to last long! Just keep reading!

* * *

Chapter 4

"Hey." He pushed the door of the scrubbing room open, and leaned against the sink beside Cristina.

"Hey." She looked up briefly, gave him a smile, and continue washing her hands.

"So, I have saw something interesting when I came here. Seems like you brought one of the Seattle Grace's tradition here." Burke said while picked up a pack of sterile soap and played with it casually.

"What tradition? I bet that is not a good one."

"I just saw an intern and an attending walked out from an on-call room."

"Oh I know that is coming! Can't they just keep their pants on at business hours? It's not like they can't see each other after work! Crap, I sounded like Webber didn't I?"

"A bit, but you sound less frustrated than Webber, I guess that's because you were one of those interns that had been screwing attendings in on-call rooms." He was punched in the stomach by Cristina immediately. He laughed and grabbed some paper towels for Cristina.

"Oh and apparently your resident admires you a lot. He begin defending you before I even started asking how your work is going."

"Shane? He had been working with me since he was an intern. He and I are kind of like the relationship we had when I was an intern."

"Oh, does that mean you often hang out with him in on-call rooms? Cause as far as I can recall we used to do that when you were an intern." He stepped closer to her with his cocky grin on.

"Can you just stop thinking about sex for one second?" She rolled her eyes while drying her hands with paper towels.

"Yes, but not now, because that is one of the reasons for me to come here. To have sex with you." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips. She giggles and pulls him into her office, locking the door and resuming what they started in the scrub room.

Lying on the couch, naked and gasping, she laid her head on his muscular chest. He freed one hand and started soothing her curls.

"I am going to Seattle on Friday. Wanna come?"

"For what?"

"It's Ellis's one-year-old birthday. I am her godmother but I had never saw her. And… it's the anniversary of Derek's death soon. I just think I should be with Mer on that day."

Burke's hand stopped its movement for a while. He then let out a sigh and whispered into her ear.

"I will go with you. I still cannot believe Shepherd had died for almost 2 years now."

"Me neither."

* * *

2 years ago, on one rainy dawn, Cristina was cuddling with Burke in her apartment in Zurich. They were having a moment of cozy until her phone rang.

"Damn it. Whoever calling me should better have a good reason to bother me." Cristina grumbled as she reached for her phone.

At the moment she sees Meredith's name flickering on the screen, she had a feeling that this phone call is not a good one. Something bad had happened.

"Hey Mer… Alex? Why are you having Mer's phone? What's going on?"

"She collapsed? Why? Hey you guys are surgeons!"

"Holy… Did you guys check with that hospital? Is there some kind of mistakes?"

"God… How is Mer now? Is she okay?"

"Of course… I will be on the next plane."

"Okay, keep an eye on Mer for me. I will be there as soon as I can. Bye."

Once she got off the phone, she froze at the spot she was standing and stared blankly out of the window. She took a few deep breaths before rushing to her closet, pulled out a huge suitcase and started packing.

"Hey… What's going on? Where are you going?" Her noises waked Burke. He put on a T-Shirt and walked to Cristina's side, revealed her shivering while throwing a black dress into her suitcase.

"What happened? Where are you going? And why are you crying? It's alright…" He hugged her in his arms, and tried to calm her down in order to figure out what is happening.

"Derek… Derek is dead. Derek Shepherd, McDreamy is dead!" She sobbed and told Burke the news.

"What? How?" Burke could not believe his ears. Not long ago he just heard from Cristina that he and Grey had become parents of two kids. And suddenly the next thing he heard about him is his death. How could this be possible?

"Alex didn't tell me everything in the phone. In fact, only Meredith knows what happened, but she fainted in front of everyone, so no one knows exactly what happened. Anyway I am going to Seattle now. Can you book me a plane ticket please?"

"Yeah sure… You know what? I am coming with you."

"You are?"

"Yes. Derek is my friend. Although we haven't seen each other in ages, he is still one of my good friends. I have to attend his funeral."

The word funeral stimulated her tear glands, tears ran down her face again.

"I can't believe he died so suddenly. What should I say to Mer? I have no idea what to do… I sucked at coping with deaths. I laughed on George's funeral, and I skipped Mark's." Cristina rambles as she stuff her jeans into the luggage.

"I think she just need you to be there. Sometimes talking is overrated. If she doesn't want to talk, let her be." He gently combed her wild curls.

"Right…" She closed her suitcase, and turned around hugging Burke in her arms and say, "Don't ever die."

"Yes ma'am, you have told me that before." Remembering the same words had come from Cristina before, when Denny Duquette died, is mystically amusing for him.

"I mean it!"

"I know. I will try my best on that."

"And don't ever left me again."

"I promise I will stick around until you decided to get rid of me." Landing a soft kiss on her forehead, he releases her and went to book their plane tickets.

* * *

The flight to Seattle is not a pleasant one. Both of them could hardly close their eyes on the 13 hours flight. Burke looked at Cristina, and saw her staring blankly at the photo of Meredith, Derek and her holding an African baby on her phone. He sighed, and then raised the armrest between them in order to hold her hand. Her hand was cold, he grabbed her hand and began rubbing her hand between his palms.

"I'm okay. I just… can't believe that. Last week when I talked to Mer, Derek was till in DC. And all of a sudden he is dead. Is that a joke? No, I know Alex won't joke with these things. God, I can't even imagine how Mer is feeling."

"Hey… don't worry too much. Grey is very tough, she can get through this."

"You know… Maybe I should take Mer and the kids to Zurich? They can stay with me, take it as a vacation or something. Oh or I should stay in Seattle for a few months in case she need anything? What do you think?"

"I think, you should get some sleep now. And wait for Grey tell you what she wants." He pulled her into his arms, patting on her back to ease her tension. The two of them slowly fall asleep with their hands holding each other.

When the two of them woke up, they already arrived at Seattle. They didn't even bother to drop their luggage at the hotel first, as the both of them just wanted to arrive at Grey-Sloan immediately.

Parking their car at the familiar entrance, they can feel that the whole hospital is surrounded by sadness. It is another typical rainy day in Seattle, like the sky is sad for their loss too.

Burke stared at the hospital front door quietly, Cristina yanked his sleeve and said, "Hey, you can be nostalgic later, don't forget we are here for Derek and Mer."

He nodded at her and marched into the hospital with her. As they walked down the familiar hallways, memories rushed back. Every place is the same, but the people they used to see were no longer here.

* * *

"Grumpy! Hairball!" Jo was handing tissue to Stephanie at the nurses' station while they heard their nickname: a nickname that had never be used since Dr Yang has left. They turned their head around and saw Cristina and a tall, dark man walking towards them.

"Of course she would be here, she is Medusa's best friend!" Jo mumbles under her breath.

"Where is Meredith?" Once Cristina reached the two residents, she asked immediately.

"She was in room 2436, Dr Karev and Dr Torres are there with her." Stephanie sniffs as she answer.

"Alright." Cristina ran to Meredith's room after she heard the resident. Burke shook his head and asked politely, "Would you two mind looking after our luggage for a while? Thank you."

"What are you two doing here? Aren't you guys supposed to be in there staying with Mer?" Alex and Callie were standing outside Meredith's room when Cristina arrives.

"Oh thank God you were here Cristina!" Callie yelled as she gives her old roommate a big hug.

"What does that mean? Alex?"

"Mer kicked us out once she wake up. And she don't want anyone of use get into that room. But we think she might let you in. By the way, welcome back."

"Thanks, I am going in now." Cristina took a deep breath, and opened the door.

* * *

"I said I don't want anyone to talk to me!" Meredith shouted. She was lying on the bed, with her back facing the door.

"It's me Mer. I am here." Cristina said quietly. She cautiously walked nearer to the bed.

Meredith heard her voice, and turning her body so she can face Cristina now.

"Cristina." She murmured.

"Yes. I am right here. Whatever you want to say, whatever you want to do… I am here." Cristina sat down on a chair beside the bed, grabbing her best friend's hand.

"He is gone."

"I know."

"He is dead."

"I know."

"I have so many things I want to tell him. I haven't tell him goodbye. I haven't tell him I love him enough. He was supposed to get to DC yesterday, resign from the president's project and come back to us. And now he left us, forever, he is never coming back to us." Meredith busted into tears as she tells Cristina her feelings.

Cristina has no idea what to say to Meredith now, she hopped on Meredith's bed, and lied with her on the bed. It broke her heart to see her best friend crying over her dead husband.

The two women cuddled together on bed, giving each other support. Until a fuss began outside the room.

"What the hell?" Meredith snuffed as she asked.

"I will go check out what is going on. You stay here okay?" Cristina jumped off the bed and walks out to see what is happening.

* * *

Seconds after Cristina entered Meredith's room, Burke found the room. Both Callie and Alex were shocked to see him after almost ten years.

"Dr… Dr Burke?!" Callie is practically screaming. She thought she will never see this man again after he blew off his wedding with Cristina.

"Dr Torres, Dr Karev. It has been a long time since I last saw the two of you." He nodded to them in the typical Preston Burke way.

"What are you even doing here?" Alex does not sound nice or friendly, after all this man broke his friend's heart, giving her a hospital surely is not enough to undo the damages.

"Preston?" Another surprised voice came from the back. The three of them turned around and saw Dr Webber with an unbelievable face on and Dr Bailey with her mouth widely opened. Clearly none of them have expected to see him here too.

"Richard, Miranda, it is a pleasure seeing you two again." He smiled at his used-to-be superior and colleague.

"I don't remember inviting you here Preston, I thought you already stopped doing surgeries, since you gave your hospital to Yang." Richard was completely lost.

"Well, I still operates from time to time. But I am not coming here to do surgeries. I am here for Derek. I heard the news, and, as an old friend, I think I should come back to see him one last time."

"That's… very thoughtful of you. But where did you heard about that?"

"Well, I was sort of next to Cristina when she got the call from Karev. And she told me what happened."

"Whoa, wait. When I called Yang, I called her apartment's phone. How come you were 'sort of next to her'?" Alex was the only one that can sense that something's wrong. Burke did not expect anyone to think into his words seriously, he struggled internally whether to tell the truth or to distract them. But before he can decide, someone decided for him already.

"Why is he here?" Owen and Amelia were coming to check on Meredith. Once they stepped out from the elevator, Owen immediately saw the stranger among his colleagues. Although he never met the man, he knows exactly who he is: Preston Burke, the man who left Cristina at the altar, and took her away to another continent by offering her a job Seattle could never give her.

Rage and hatred built up in his body, and he couldn't control his desire to kick his ass anymore. He walked to Burke's front and punched him in his face.

"Owen?" "Owen!" Both Amelia and Cristina shouted out in shock and disbelieve.

"It is Seattle Grace after all." Bailey mumbles while shaking her head, disapproval of what just happened.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Cristina!" Meredith waved her arm happily as she saw the woman with wild curls step out from the security check. Cristina grinned as she ran to her best friend and gave her a huge hug.

"Is this our little princess Ellis? Hello princess! I thought you would bring Zola and Bailey here! Where are they?" Cristina crouched down and played with baby Ellis, who was sitting in the baby trolley, drooling and giggling when Cristina grimaced at her.

"Dr Yang, children nowadays have schools to attend. They should not be free at a normal Thursday afternoon." Meredith rolled her eyes at her friend.

"And by the way, I thought Preston is coming with you?"

"Don't call him Preston! I am gonna vomit because you called him that. He got caught up in… something. So he will come later."

"Let me guess, you are still a dirty mistress aren't you?"

"No, we are nothing like that. We had a deal. I told him not to leave his wife, that doesn't make me a dirty mistress."

"Whatever you say. Now are we going to leave the airport or are we going to stand here for the rest of the day? We are going to have a dinner party for you."

"Wow, really? A dinner party? Who is coming? You, Ellis, Zola and Bailey?"

"Can you stop your sarcasm for one second? Callie, Jackson, Arizona, Bailey and Webber are all coming, Alex will be coming with Jo. I am not sure about April, she and Jackson can't be in the same room lately. Maggie is off today, so she should be able to join. Amelia and Owen had a surgery later today, let's see if they can be home on time to join us." Meredith counted as she walk Cristina to her car.

"You've got to fill me in with all the latest, juiciest gossips. Look at all the things I missed when I was gone! God, I love Seattle."

* * *

"What is going on outside? Is that Owen yelling just now?" Meredith looked at her friend curiously. It is unusual for Cristina not babbling after she saw a chaos.

"I forgot to tell you something."

"Okay, so tell me now." Meredith is completely lost now. Why exactly is Cristina hiding?

"I went to Zurich and I took over Burke's institute."

"Yeah I know that, I brought your plane tickets when you left."

"Oh shut up, let me finish. Alright, so he was supposed to move to Milan after he perform a surgery on the last patient of his trial. And that night, we had a farewell dinner or something, and we drank, a lot. So… things happen when people were drunk, you know that right?"

"Oh my god. You SLEPT with BURKE? AGAIN? After he LEFT you at the altar? And make your LIFE miserable? Wow!" Derek's death seemed to be taken away from Meredith's head temporarily, as she was so shocked by what she just heard.

"Hey! No judgement here okay? You are supposed to be listening quietly!"

"Okay! Continue." Meredith looked like she just saw a ghost.

"Where was I? Oh right, so we… had sex. I know we made a mistake, and I tried to end this thing between us, but I just can't… let go. So that's what we are now. Some kind of secret lover." Cristina massaged her forehead while summarizing what happened in the past year to Meredith.

Meredith grasped in shock, she always know Cristina had never really forget about Burke. After all, they were going to get married when he left her, he must mean something to her. But Meredith thought she will never be with Burke, aka the man who humiliated her at her own wedding, ever again. And especially after Cristina married Owen.

"Then? Why are you telling me this?" Mer was clearly still in shock, as her brain

stopped functioning properly.

"I am telling you this because he is here. Burke is here. Mer, your jaw is going to fall off you know? He heard me on the phone with Alex, and he said something about being a friend of Derek's and something like he has to be here… So now he is here with me, and just now Owen punched him in the face, literally. That's it, no big deal."

Cristina tried to lighten up the atmosphere, but sadly Meredith wasn't faked by her. She stared at her friend who is twisting her fingers unconsciously, then she moved the edge of the bed, making space for Cristina to lie on bed with her.

"You know, I am not exactly the best adviser when it comes to relationships. But I am not blind. You feel guilty for being with Burke while you told Owen that you love him more than you love Burke before."

"I don't know what am I feeling right now. I just feel like everything is so messed up. I was here for you, and somehow I become the center of gossip."

"Cristina, I am your person. I know you better than yourself. You know you didn't really broke up with Owen, you gave him hope when you left, you told him you will always love him. And he really waited for you. We thought he is going to be with Amelia, but he did not, I guess that is because of you. While he was suffering and waiting for you, you are with Burke. You were happy when he was miserable. So I think you feel guilty."

Cristina looked at Meredith quietly, trying to figure out something to say that she is wrong. But she couldn't. She know that Meredith was right. She feel guilty because she is with Burke again, because she hurt a man who loved her with all his heart.

"Fine," Cristina gave up and said, "I feel terrible. I hurt Owen and I left him here, miserable and alone. What can I do?"

"I would tell you to talk to him. Give him the closure he deserve, and let him move on. "

"It is so awkward! Me telling my ex-husband I am now in love with my ex-fiance?"

"I know! But you have to do it. Cristina, Owen was starting a relationship with Amelia when you were gone. They were fine before, but suddenly they ended their thing. He didn't tell us why, but Amelia said it's something to do with you. She said Owen still thinks there is a chance that you may comeback and you two will be happily ever after. So he felt like cheating on you when he started to have feeling for Amelia. Now, we both know that's not gonna happen, but Owen didn't know! You have to clear things with him, or he could never be happy. As his friend, I hate to see that." Meredith said with a serious tone. Derek is gone, she felt she have the responsibility to look out for his sister.

"I will go find Owen now. Are you okay being alone for a while?"

"I am not a baby! Just go, I am fine. I won't kill myself or disappear."

Cristina looked at Meredith worriedly, but Meredith smiled and squeezed her hand, reassuring Cristina that she will be fine on her own.

"I will be right back." She said as she walked out the room.

Meredith's smile faded. She know she wouldn't really kill herself, but she has no idea how her life should carry on. Derek was gone for half a year last year, but she knew he was somewhere out there, and she knew he would comeback sometimes. That is fine. But now, he is gone. Actually gone. Never-coming-back gone. The problem of being with someone too long is that you no longer have the courage to live alone. She wanted to disappear from the world, the world he no longer exists.

She stared at the window blankly and whispered, "Derek... What should I do?"


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Come in, just leave your luggage at the entrance, we can handle those later." Meredith opened the door for Cristina while kicking a teddy bear away.

"It haven't changed a bit! Can I stay in my old room?" Cristina walked around the living room and said.

"Meredith?" A male voice suddenly appeared and scared the two of them.

"Oh my god! Owen? Why are you here?" Meredith was completely shocked by the presence of Owen in the house, which should be empty at this time.

"Um, Amelia was dragged into a long surgery just now. She won't be able to come home anytime soon, so I thought I can just come and pick up some clothes for her." Owen explained to Meredith as he showed the clothes he was holding to her.

"That's… that's very sweet." Meredith gave him a smirk.

"I am going back to the hospital now. See you later." He found himself an excuse to escape from all the awkwardness, and quickly walked towards the door through the living room, where he sees Cristina standing there.

"Cristina, welcome back to Seattle! I will catch up with you later." He smiled at her as he walks out from the house.

"You know, you never tell me what did you say to Owen 2 years ago, when he found out the thing between you and Burke." Meredith leaned against the door frame, expecting an answer from Cristina.

"Do you remember what did I say to you when you asked me the same question 2 years ago?"

"You tell me it's none of my business."

"Mer, it is still none of your business."

* * *

"It's for your hand." Cristina found Owen sitting alone on a bench outside the ER entrance. She walked towards him and handed him a can of coke. He took it from her and put it on his knuckle, which is now all red because of punching Burke in his face. She opened another can of diet soda and began sipping it.

Owen stared at her, looking at her while she drink the soda. After she finished, he started speaking.

"How long did you two started seeing each other?"

"A few weeks after I settled down in Zurich, I think."

"Did you… leave Seattle for him?"

Cristina bit her lips. Honestly, she had no answers for this question. She doesn't know the answers too. She WAS leaving because Zurich have something Seattle couldn't offer her: unlimited funding, cutting-edge technology, talented cardio surgeons, her own hospital… She WAS going to Zurich for these.

But now, after she started her relationship with Burke, she couldn't tell whether HE was one of the reasons for her to leave. If HE is, how dominant is this reason? She keep questioning herself, but still, she got no answers.

"I wish I could tell you no. But I hate lying to you. I think he is one of the reasons for me to leave. But I don't know how large that part is. I couldn't figure that out. Everything is just… a mess." Cristina admitted honestly. Owen closed his eyes for a brief moment after she replied.

"I see, so you are in love with him all over again? This interesting, because in that case I don't know what can we talk about anymore." He stood up and wanted to go back into the hospital, but his wrist was grabbed by Cristina.

"Please, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted a closure for the both of us, so we can both put the past behind us and move on." Cristina looked at him with pledging eyes.

"Judge by what I see, I think you have already moved on." He took a deep breathe, controlling his emotion, and he resume.

"You said you love me more than him, you said you would always love me, and I trusted you. I stayed in Seattle and I waited for you like what you've asked. I do that because I believe you would come back to me one day. I believe you still love me even you were in Zurich. Cristina… I saved you from your PTSD, I waited for you after the plane crash, and all he has done was hurting you. And you chose him. I am really an idiot aren't I?" He was frustrated. He could never love another woman as much as he had loved her. He gave her everything she wants, he let her go for her happiness, and all he had wanted was her love. All of a sudden, that man, Preston Burke came back from nowhere and marched into her life again, and he had her love.

Cristina was startled by what she heard. It was never her intention to hurt him. She loves Owen, just not as much as she loved Burke. When she looks at Owen, all she could remember is their fights and him being angry at her for abandoning their baby. Everything is just painful. But with Burke, there were hurtful moments, but also happy memories like how they danced in the apartment after his morning run, how they went out for a date and a guy ended up in the OR… Memories with Burke are always sweet when she recalls them. She guess that means she loved Burke more.

"Owen… I am really sorry for hurting you. I… I know I SHOULD love you. I know he was married and I should not love him. But… we can't control who we fall in love with. I never know I still love him until I saw him again. I am sorry I can't give you what you want, but I really want you to be happy, and that is also something I can't give you." She looked at him in the eyes and confess her feelings to him. Then they fall into silence.

"Cristina… If he hurts you, tell me and I will kick his ass for you." Owen gave her a hug and whispered into her ears. She giggled and hugged him back.

"I heard from Meredith that… you and Shepherd's little sister? She is good for you Owen. Don't let her slip." Cristina thought of the gossip she heard from Meredith and asked.

"We are not there yet." He blushed while denying his relationship with Amelia.

"Aw, don't be shy! I wanted you to be happy. Really." She puts on a more serious face, and stared at him.

"I will, don't worry." He stroked her hair and gave her his warm, gentle smile.


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: We are approaching the end of this story! I decided to make the last few chapters more hilarious, I hope you guys will like it!

* * *

Chapter 7

"Alex? Whoa, gosh, it's… lively here." Jo walks into Meredith's living room with a few bottles of wine in her arms. While she enters the room, she was surprised by the people sitting there. Nearly all the attendings are there, all sitting around the table, with a single empty chair clearly waiting for her.

'They are all here! Is Grey-Sloan going to shut down tonight?' Jo thought in her mind.

"Wilson! Come on! We are all waiting for you!" Maybe because of the presence of Cristina, Meredith sounded a lot perkier than usual. Although it still sounds like ultimatums for Jo.

She quickly took off her coat and sat down besides Alex, trying to catch up with the topic. Saw her being all confused, Alex whispered to her, "We are telling Maggie, Arizona and Jackson stories when Yang, Mer and I were still interns."

"Oh my god Alex, you really spread Syphilis around on the surgical floor?" Maggie's were wide open when she heard about the legendary Syphilis outbreak from Callie.

"Yes he did, and the chief gets his secretary to demonstrate safe sex precautions for all the staff on the floor. I still don't understand why my interns were involved in basically ALL Seattle Grace stories and dramas." Bailey reassured Callie's story while giggling as she recall the scene of all the surgical staff watching Patricia putting a condom onto a banana.

"No we are not involved in ALL gossips. Only Mer is. She is the gossip mill of Seattle Grace. Remember the guy who could end his erection after screwing Mer? And the lace panties hanged on the notice board by Addison? Oh and don't forget about McVet! That is legendary." Cristina puts all the blame on Meredith while refilling her glass.

"Says the pregnant whore who screwed an attending and collapsed during surgery." Alex let out a chuckle with his jerk face on.

"Alex! That is too mean!" Jackson ruptured into laughter uncontrollably and everyone around the table follows him. Only Jo tucked Alex's sleeve and whispered to him, afraid that Cristina will rip her boyfriend's face off.

"Never mind! That's how evil spawn and I communicate. He is just saying that because he wants me to mock him. Aw you cute little boy." Cristina shrugged her shoulder and pinched Alex's face to irritate him.

"Get your paws off me Yang." Alex frowned and wiped her hand off his face. Everyone falls into laughter again.

"You guys have really interesting intern year! Mine was so boring comparing to you guys'. Hey, was that just the three of you and… George? Did I remember his name correctly?" Maggie asked and those who were in the hospital long enough all become silent.

"No… There were five of us, Mer, evil spawn, Bambi… aka George, Izzie and me. We called ourselves Bailey's dream team." Cristina replied, and Bailey made a noise to indicate her despise for the name "Bailey's dream team".

Talking about Izzie and George made everyone – except Jackson, Arizona, Jo and Maggie – recalled the unpleasant memories. The atmosphere went cold instantly, as no one seems wanted to talk.

"Em, Yang, I remembered Meredith says Preston is coming back to Seattle with you, where is he now?" Richard broke the silence, Cristina was surprised by his random question.

"Oh, em, err, he, erm, he was caught up in Zurich by… erm, a surgery. He will be here a few days later."

"Oh speaking of Burke, Mer, do you remember that time, Burke's parents walk in on them when Yang is…" Alex smiled wickedly as he remembers something interesting. Meredith responded by laughing loudly.

"Is what? Oh spit it out Alex!" Arizona is very curious, so does most people in the room. Those who knew about it either trying very hard to withhold their laughter, like Bailey and Callie; or shooting Alex deathly glares to make him shut up, like Cristina.

"Don't you dare evil spawn. I will cut your tongue into a million pieces if you say a word about that… incident."

"Ha, bite me Yang. So at that time…" Alex ignores Cristina's threats and continue telling the story, while Cristina roars angrily.

* * *

"Hey Mer, it's me again. Call me immediately!" Cristina yelled into her phone for the 39th times. She looked at the phone log and growled frustratingly.

"Grey is still not answering your calls?" Burke asked Cristina curiously. He was beside her all day and all he had heard is Cristina leaving messages for Meredith.

"Yeah. Alex says she disappeared the night of Derek's funeral. She took Zola and Bailey with her. God where has she been! I should have stayed for a few days more. I should not believe Meredith Grey when she says she will be okay without me. Ugh! Meredith Grey's okay is never the 'okay in normal standard'! Why do I have to rush back to Zurich! Weiss can take good care of the institute for me! I am such an idiot." Cristina rambles as she left Meredith another text message.

"Grey is reckless sometimes, but she is not nuts. She took her kids with her, which means she KNOWS she has something to do. It's a good sign. Just give her some time, she will call you when she is ready."

"You are not helping!"

"Well, if I were Grey, I would definitely want some space…" He was interrupted by someone calling his name.

"Preston!" He looked around and found his wife smiling and waving at him. His whole body went cold at that second.

 _'_ _What is her doing here? Did she find out about Cristina and me? Should I tell Cristina to go first?'_ His mind was thinking thousands of scenario. He wondered what would happen the next second. Would she slap him? Would she slap her? Or would she slap the both of them for adultery?

Luckily, none of his scenarios matched with the reality. Edra walked towards them with a big grin on her face. She kissed Burke on his cheeks before she reached out her hand to Cristina.

"Hi! You must be the doctor who took over for my husband! I am Edra, Edra Burke. My husband has been praising you every day. What a pleasure to see you!"

"Uh, Cristina Yang, I run this hospital for Dr Burke now. Nice to meet you."

Cristina shook her hand unconsciously. The woman in front of her has a huge, sunshiny smile. She is tall and beautiful, seems to be an intelligent woman. She looks elegant in the expensive clothes, reminding Cristina of someone she used to work with.

 _'Why d_ _oes all the McWifes have to look so hot? This woman is like Addison Montgomery's sister!'_ She rolled her eyes in her mind.

"Dr Yang, if you could excuse me, I have something to discuss with Edra." Burke pushed her gently, bringing her back to reality. She put on her best professional face and said, "Absolutely. Take all the time you need Dr Burke."

She smiled as she watched Burke and his wife walks away. She took a deep breath and started to type another message to Meredith.

"911! Why do all the wives have to look the same way? Burke's wife is Zurich Addison! By the way, call me back ASAP." She clicked send and scrolling down to read Alex's messages. She wasn't aware of someone standing in her way and bumped into that person directly.

"Oh I am so sorry… MRS. BURKE?" Cristina nearly screamed as she couldn't believe who she saw. Her worst nightmare, Jane Burke, was here, staring at her in the exact same way she did almost ten years ago.

"Cristina. It has been a long time since I last saw you."

"Yes, Mrs Burke. It has been ten years." Cristina picked up the files she dropped on the floor nervously. Out of her expectation, Jane kneeled down to help her with the papers.

"Thank you." Cristina whispered as Jane handed her a pile of sheets.

"I was wondering, do you have time to grab a cup of coffee with me? And to catch up a little?"

Cristina is literally shivering as she heard Jane's suggestion. It has been a long time ago since Jane talked to her, but that woman still freaks her out. She has those eyes that can see right through somebody, when she stares at you, it makes you wanna tell her everything you did. Also, given the history between them, Cristina is not as naïve as actually believing her when she says "catch up".

 _'She must know something. Or she won't be here. '_ Cristina thought to herself.

"Cristina? Are you free for a cup of coffee?" Jane raised her eyebrows in annoyance, reminds Cristina of her son.

"Em, yeah, sure. I am going to put these files back into my office. Why don't I meet you later in the cafeteria?"

"Alright, I will be see you there." Jane left with a victorious smile, when all Cristina wanted to do is to punch someone in the face.

* * *

"Took you long enough to come." Jane sipped her coffee as Cristina sat down in front of her. She spent the last hour waiting for Cristina to prepare herself emotionally.

"I am sorry Mrs. Burke. I was paged for an urgent consult, patient's life always come…"

"Oh stop it Cristina. We both know you procrastinated because you didn't want to talk to me." Jane stared at Cristina, she always has the special power that can see right through someone. Cristina drank her coffee anxiously, waiting to hear what Jane is going to say to her.

"So, you have taken over Preston's position and run this hospital for a year already, am I right?"

"Yes, that's right."

To be honest, I never expected Preston will ask you to be his successor."

"Neither do I."

"Can I assume there is a story behind his decision?"

"I am afraid I don't understand what you mean by that."

"Oh Cristina, you know exactly what I mean. You are sleeping with my son again aren't you?" Jane took a sip of her coffee elegantly, as she uttered sharply.

Cristina nearly choked by the coffee. She coughed vigorously while trying to pretend she wasn't terrified by what Jane said.

"Whoa, Mrs Burke I think you have a huge misunderstanding here. The relationship between me and, um, Dr Burke is strictly professional. He invited me here to take over for him, and I did. That's all. Nothing more." She bit her lips and control her emotions, trying to convince Jane that there isn't anything wrong.

"He is my SON Cristina. I know him better than anyone else. At first it may be completely professional between you two. Now? I doubt that." Jane stared at Cristina, seeing her lowering her head because of guilt, then continued.

"He… was different. He was not happy anymore after he left you, I thought he had lost the ability to be happy again. He hold the choker in his hands and stared at it all day long. I was worried, but he said he was fine, so I decided I would give him time to process his feelings. Luckily, he then met Edra. I suppose you have already saw her just now?"

Cristina nodded and slightly rolled her eyes. _'The Europe version of Addison Montgomery. Sure.'_

"You know, Preston and I had always dream of his wife being the kind of girl that is willing to put her family before her career. Someone who wants to have kids and spent her life taking care of them. Someone who is completely different from you, no offence. Anyway, I thought he would be happy again because of Edra. And I was right, he started to smile again."

"I am sorry, but how is these related to me? If you are telling me all these just to make me feel bad about myself, I am sorry, but I am not interested." Cristina interrupted Jane impatiently. She stood up from the chair and wanted to get back to work.

"I was not right, I was wrong. I just thought I was right." Out of Cristina's expectation, Jane admitted her mistakes. "He was not happy even he married a girl he always wanted. He has got everything he wanted in life, a beautiful wife, two adorable daughters, a dream job, but he is not happy. Until two years ago when he gave his institute to someone else. That's the moment when I got my son back, the one who disappeared for nearly ten years. Edra just thought he is thrilled to drop the burden off his shoulders, but I know it's not that simple. Although he didn't tell us who took over for him, I knew it was you. YOU are the reason why he is happy again. YOU are what he is missing from his life, YOU are the love of his life."

Cristina widened her eyes in shock, nearly choked by the coffee again. She never expected to hear this from Jane. She thought Jane would tell her to get the hell out of Europe, or give her a few million dollars and ask her to disappear forever. Does her bias made her unable to realize that Jane Burke is in fact a nice woman, or Jane accidentally skipped her meds? Maybe she got a tumour on her frontal lobe that changed her personality?

"Your eyeballs are going to fall out Cristina. I understand that you may think of me as an evil witch who will never say anything good about you, that explains why you look so terrified now. But no, I didn't say those because I am crazy. I mean what I said." Jane handed Cristina a pile of tissue paper, and carried on.

"I am a mother. What a mother wants most is their children to be happy. I am not going to lie, Cristina, I don't like you. Even ten years had pass, I still don't like you much. But I know you can make my son happy. He loves you is all that matters. I am not here to tell you to leave. I am asking you to stay with him."

"Mrs Burke… I never plan on leaving him. The seven years without him in my life are the worst years of my life. I don't want to experience that again."

"I am very happy to hear that. But still, I need more time to try and like you." Jane returned to her usual tone. This time, her smile is sincere and heart-warming. Cristina returned her a true-hearted smile as well. If this woman hadn't give her such a poor first impression long time ago, she might actually like her, she thought.

* * *

Cristina pushed her office door open, and see that Burke was already there, waiting for her.

"Hey, I heard you had a conversation with mama just now. How does that go?" He pretended to be asking casually, but deep down he was expecting Cristina to target all her anger on him.

"It's great talking to her." Quite the contrary to Burke's expectation, there wasn't screaming or shouting or Cristina Yang-styled-bitching about his mother. She sounded so peaceful, even delighted. Burke was confused by the situation.

"You two… did not argue? What did mama did to you? Or what did you do to mama?"

"You think the only thing we will do once we meet is ripping each other's throat apart? Now that is humiliation."

"Fine, I apologize. Can you tell me what you two talked about now?"

"Apology accepted, but nope, that is a secret between me and your MAMA." She grinned at him victoriously. He pulled her towards him and kissed her forehead. He is nothing but glad to see the two most important women in his life finally gets along. Sort of. In a strange way.


	9. Chapter 8 (Part 1)

A/N: So this is going be to be the last chapter of this story! But since this chapter is too long, I am going to post it as two parts. The following chapter is the **PAST** , and the next chapter will be **PRESENT**. I decided I would add a Meredith-Jackson-Cristina conversation in this chapter, as I really love Meredith and Jackson's bonding in season 9's beginning (can't really remember which episode). Thanks for reading and I will be thrilled to see reviews.

* * *

Chapter 8 (Part 1)

"Page Dr Meredith Grey for me right now." Cristina marched into the surgical floor of Grey-Sloan Memorial angrily. She headed directly to the closest nursing station and ordered the nurse there fiercely.

The young nurse seemed to be new to the hospital, as she didn't recognize Cristina and is clearly frightened by her. "Ma'am, I am very sorry, but I couldn't page a surgeon for you if you don't have a reason. What can I do for you?"

"Can you speak English? I told you to page Dr Grey for me! Stat! That's what I want you to do for me!' She shouted impatiently. The noise attracted almost everyone in the hall. People stared at them curiously, trying to figure out why is this woman yelling at a nurse. The young nurse's tears started to gather in her eyes, her lips was shivering but she couldn't make any sound.

"What's going on here? Yang?" Hearing the noise, Alex put down the chart he was holding and walked towards that nurse station. He approaches and found out that the angry woman is Cristina.

"Evil spawn! It's great to see you here. Ugh, can't believe I would feel great seeing you."

"Why are you here bullying nurses? Aren't there nurse in Zurich?"

"I got a text from Callie saying that Mer is back. So I hopped on the first plane and got here as soon as I can. While weepy here refused to page Meredith for me!"

"Oh please, you marched in here looking all angry and crazy, who knows what you gonna do when you see Mer? If I don't know you, I would think of you as a shooter. Come on, I will find her with you, let the poor nurse do her work." Alex pulled Cristina's arm while gestured for the nurse to get back to work. Cristina nodded and followed Alex.

As they walk through the hallways, they saw a lot of trauma patients on gurneys or wheelchairs. People are moaning in pain, frightened children are crying and screaming loudly.

"Whoa, what happened? So many traumas!" Cristina asked.

"I don't know, I just got out from a 12 hours surgery. I don't even know it is day or night now." Alex shrugged and replied. He stopped and looked around to see if anyone can answer them. He saw Ben walking towards his direction with a serious face on, so he grabbed him and asked. "Hey Warren, what happened?"

"I don't know exactly, sounds like some tunnel collapsed."

"Okay, alright, thank you. Do you know where Meredith is?"

"Um, Dr Hunt and Dr Webber just assigned her, Pierce, Shepherd and Kepner to the scene, a man was trapped in his car, not good."

"Well, sounds like you are not going to see her in a while. Wanna help?" Alex turned around to talk to Cristina.

"Yeah, of course! Get me some scrubs." She ordered a nurse near her and decided to help. She is gonna wait for Meredith no matter what, wouldn't hurt to help a little.

* * *

"Hunt, what do you got?" Alex walked into trauma room 2 to see if Owen needs anything.

"40 year old male being tossed out from his car. He's got an open book fracture and cardiac tamponade with possible C-spine fracture. I paged Ortho, Cardio and Neuro, turns out none of them are free. Could you help me to log roll him? I need to check his back." Owen filled Alex in quickly and asked for his help. Alex then held the patient's neck and rolled him when Owen counts to three.

"You need Cardio? Yang's here. I can page her if you need."

"Cristina? What is she doing here?"

"She knows Mer is back, so she wanted to see if everything's okay, or she just want to kick her ass for disappearing."

"Okay then, um, page Dr. Yang."

A few seconds later, Cristina walked into the room. "You paged me? What do we got?"

"A cardiac tamponade, need a pericardiocentesis."

"I am gonna do an ultra-sound first to see how serious is this. I really miss traumas, gross, bloody trauma." Cristina squeezed a generous amount of jelly onto the man's chest. And she located the probe on the patient's heart. "Not much fluid there, I can handle it here."

She took out a syringe and a spinal needle, finding the landmark on the chest and started to insert the needle into chest cavity. A pager went off suddenly, the nurse nearby checked and said, "Dr Hunt, they need you outside, a severe trauma incoming."

"Okay I am coming, you two can handle here?" Owen looked at Cristina and Alex, asking them to continue their work as he ran to the entrance of the ER.

The patient Cristina and Alex was dealing with stabilized after Cristina did the pericardiocentesis. Callie also arrived to check on the man's fracture. She walked into the room and was surprised by Cristina. The two women hugged each other before continue with their work. The three of them chatted happily when Owen rushed back in, asking for Cristina anxiously.

"What happened?" Cristina disposed her gloves and her gown into a bin nearby and asked.

"Grey and Pierce just came back with a patient. She's got a metal rod sticking through her chest, her heart is basically shredded. Pierce will need another set of hands, I want you to go help her. They are in OR 3."

"Yeah sure, right away."

* * *

"What do we got?" Cristina walked into OR 3 as she tie her scrub cap.

"Cristina? Why are you here?" Meredith turned around and was surprised to see her here. Cristina was already annoyed as Meredith didn't return any of her calls in the last year, when she heard Meredith's surprised tone, she was infuriated.

"I am here because someone disappeared a year ago and never returned any of my calls. Where have you been! Why don't you answer my calls?" She yelled angrily.

"I am sorry! But I was kind of…busy, I couldn't handle everything at once!"

"You are busy. Busy doing what?"

"I… Cristina, I was pregnant."

Cristina had imagined thousands of things that may keep Meredith from calling her back, but she certainly didn't come up with the answer "pregnant".

"You what?"

"I found out that I was pregnant on the day of Derek's funeral. I couldn't stand people feeling pity for me or comforting me, and I couldn't bear to live in our dream house when I know… he will never come home. So I took Zola and Bailey and moved to San Diego."

"Why didn't you call me? I am your person!" Cristina is no longer furious, her tone softened and she was sad for her friend.

"I couldn't. I needed time to think what am I gonna do, and I needed time to accept the fact that Derek is dead." Meredith sighed and wiped away a drop of tear on her cheek. Cristina hugged Meredith and closed her eyes. She was a terrible friend. Her best friend just lost the love of her life, and all she could think of is why she is not calling her.

"Um, I hate interrupting, but I really need to start saving this woman now. Can we get back to the surgery first?" Maggie had been quiet since the beginning. She wanted to give them time to talk, but their talking has been going on for too long now, and the patient is running of time. She has to stop them.

"Oh, right. What do you want me to do Dr Pierce?"

"Maggie, just, call me Maggie. Um, I was thinking we should try and repair as much of the heart as we can. Her aorta is completely shredded, and the right atrium is crushed. We will have to replace the heart valves as well as reconstructing her heart chambers. We can put in a graft to replace the aorta. What do you think Dr Yang?" Maggie pointed at the CT and told Cristina her surgical plan.

"That should work. But to play on the safe side, I think we should call UNOS to find a match for our patient, in case the injury is too severe that we couldn't do much."

"Good idea. You, go call UNOS and tell them we have an urgent patient that may needed a heart." Maggie ordered an intern to call for her, while she gathered everyone to begin their surgery.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives." Meredith whispered as she took the scalpel from the kidney dish next to her. Cristina looked at her, suddenly felt an urge to cry. She suddenly remembered that this is the OR where she performed an open heart surgery for Derek with a maniac holding a gun to her head. She never realize that, but Derek is definitely one of the most important person to her in the past 10 years. The sound of the bovie brings Cristina back to the present. She took a deep breath and picked up the saw next to her, focusing on the injured heart in front of her.

Time passed quickly in an OR. It was already the seventh hour of the surgery. Fortunately, everything went smoothly. Meredith had already finished her hepatectomy and is closing up. Turns out Cristina and Maggie are great partners, they have already finish repairing the heart chambers and heart valves, and are going to put in a graft. The door of the OR opened, and Jackson came in.

"Hey Meredith, my mom and Webber decided to cancel their huge ceremony in the hotel tonight. Instead they wanted to borrow your place to have a small party, just for us. Are you okay with that?"

"Um, yeah, sure. But they do realize I only have tequila at home right?" Meredith thought about it for a few seconds, and quickly agreed.

"No problem, my mom had hired people to take care of those things."

"Wait, Catherine Avery and Richard Webber are getting married? I wasn't gone for a decade am I? " Cristina exclaimed disbelievingly. She had always know about the relationship between Catherine and Richard, but they getting married is certainly something she didn't see coming.

"Yang? Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be doing clinical trials on babies in Zurich now?" Same with most of the Grey-Sloan staff, Jackson was surprised by Cristina's presence.

"I have told that story too many times now, not going to repeat anymore. Clamps."

"Alright, I can see that you are still the bitchy Cristina Yang. Awesome." Jackson rolled his eyes and stepped towards the door, and something came into his mind suddenly, "Hey Yang, you are coming tonight right?"

"Yeah whatever, if Mer's going I will go too." She doesn't even look up while she mumbles. Jackson smiled reluctantly and left.

* * *

Cristina was sitting beside the bar table alone, sipping wine from the glass she was holding. It was a PARTY but all she was doing is sitting alone at a corner. Meredith was dancing with the chief, Alex was flirting with Jo, Owen had disappeared with Amelia… And seems like no one wanted to chat with her.

Someone patted on her shoulder; she turned around and saw that it was Meredith.

"I thought you are dancing with Webber!"

"Yes but that just ended. He have to dance with his bride. Why are you sitting here? Alone? Come on it's a party, go have some fun."

"Nah, no one seems wanted to talk with me. But that's fine, I have wine, and tequila." She shook her glass slightly.

"Tequila! I am going to get some for us. Wait." Meredith hopped off her chair and opened a cupboard. She pulled out two bottles of tequila, pushing them towards Cristina.

The two women cheered and gulped down the liquor. Then they looked at each other and laughed. Both of them had grown from an intern to an outstanding surgeon now, but their crave for tequila is as strong as usual.

"Wow, are you two trying to drunk yourselves on my mother's wedding? Seriously she will go crazy." Jackson with an emptying glass in his hand walked past the women, and found himself amazed by how much alcohol they can handle.

"You are not with April?" Meredith asked, sounded a bit tipsy.

"She… is gone. She left for Jordan again. She said they needed her there. Yeah, like I don't need her here." He grabbed the bottle away from Cristina and took a big sip of it.

"Aw, poor Avery. Come drink with us then, we are all lonely people here." Cristina opened a new bottle of tequila and poured it down her throat.

"I don't understand. We promised to be together for better of for worst. We lost Samuel, that is the worst in our marriage, but she didn't stay. She left me without saying anything. Then she came back, still didn't say anything. And now, she stayed for a month or so and she is back to Jordan." He washed down the tequila and continued, "Seriously, I don't know what I should do. I can't always be the one who fight for our marriage."

"At least she is not dead. My husband died and left three children for me. I am widow Grey now. You are not the most miserable person here." Meredith said as she patted on Jackson's shoulder. Both Cristina and Jackson nodded, agree that she is the saddest person in the room.

"Crap, we all have crappy love lives! " Cristina exclaimed suddenly. She waved the bottle in her hand and said, "Avery has a wife while technically equals to not exist. Mer's husband died and she can say goodbye to orgasms forever. We are so pathetic."

"Says the slutty mistress who of McMarried. Right? McMarried?" Jackson smirked and imitated Cristina's sarcastic tone. He then whispered to Meredith's ears, "She is definitely drunk." Meredith nodded in agreement.

"I am not drunk! Avery."

"Well then stop pretend you are in the Crappy Marriage Club. Cause you are not! You have a perfect love life!" Jackson argued as he took the empty bottle away from Cristina's grip.

"Perfect is shit." Cristina rolled her eyes. She pulled out another bottle of wine and took a sip of it. She cleaned the wine of her face with the back of her hand.

"I thought I am satisfied with being in love. I thought I don't give a damn about him being married. I thought I won't care being the mistress. I thought being loved by him is enough. But now, I am no longer satisfied being his "another woman". I want more. I want every bits of him." She put her hand on her forehead when she confessed her feelings to her friends. The three of them sighed and drank from the bottle in their hands. No one knows what to say exactly; after all emotional stuff wasn't one of the talents owns by a surgeon.

"I am gonna check on the kids." Meredith putted down the bottle in her hands and headed towards the stairs.

"I should call April, right?" Jackson asked Cristina, who nodded obscurely. He hopped off his chair and went to the porch.

Cristina finished the last drop of the liquor in the bottle, and then she whipped her phone out from the clutch beside her. She clicked into facetime and called the first number on her caller's log.

The other side answers quickly.

"Marry me Preston Burke. Marry me."


	10. Chapter 8 (Part 2)

A/N: This is the last chapter of this fic. Thank you so much for your support! I am really glad to see you guys liked my idea. I still have some ideas for this story that I haven't written into this fic. Maybe I will write some one-shots with them later. PS: This chapter is the **PRESENT** timeline.

* * *

Chapter 8 (Part 2)

"Stina! Klisstina! Week up!" Cristina was in her sleep when she felt a pair of soft, little hand squeezing her face. The voice pronouncing her name wrongly sounds like little Bailey, but it is so distanced and soft. She tell herself that she was hallucinating and went back to sleep. The noise stopped momentarily, before another voice came.

"Auntie Cristina! Wake up!" Okay, this sounds like Zola now. This time the voice was louder and closer, but still sounds like delusion to Cristina. She waved her arms irritatingly, then curled up and went back to her sleep.

Her bedroom door opened abruptly. Meredith marched in and flipped her blanket away. She slapped Cristina's thigh and shouted, "Cristina! Wake up!"

Cristina opened her eyes reluctantly. She searched for her phone beside her pillow to look at the time.

"What the hell Mer? It's 8 in the morning! I thought you are off today! Just let me sleep a bit more…" She mumbles as her body dropped back onto the bed.

"No! We have important things to do! You have to wake up now or I am going to kick your ass. Seriously!" Meredith crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking at Cristina angrily.

"Jeez! Alright I am up! Grumpy!" Cristina was confused by her friend's unusual grumpiness. She climbed out from her bed and walked to the washroom with a big yawn.

When she reached the kitchen, the kids are already eating breakfast, Meredith was busy feeding Ellis while flipping the pancakes.

"I thought you say we are in a hurry!" Cristina sat down on a chair and bite on one of Zola's toast.

"We are, but I have to feed the kids first! Why are you still your pajamas?"

"I don't know what to wear if you don't tell me where we are going."

"Okay fine, um, it's Alex and Jo's wedding today. I hung a dress for you behind your door just now, go put that on."

"What? Alex and Wilson? They didn't say anything about wedding last night! And aren't they not supposed to see each other before wedding?" Cristina asked suspiciously.

"They… they assumed I told you about this, I guess. And you know, Alex don't really give a crap about traditions." Meredith avoided Cristina's glare by focusing on her pancakes. As Cristina grew more suspicious, Meredith was saved by the phone call.

"Oh hey Maggie!"

"Yes I know, the kids are having breakfast now. We and leaving in… em, 20 minutes or so."

"Okay then, I will see you at the chapel!"

"Great, tell Alex that we are sorry, and we are rushing now. Okay, bye!"

She put down her phone and gestured to Cristina, telling her to get dressed while she feed Ellis with another spoon of apple sauce.

Cristina rolled her eyes and went upstairs to change. Zola swallowed the cereal in her mouth and asked, "Mommy, I don't remember Uncle Alex and Auntie Jo are getting married today! Aren't today the wedding of Auntie…" Her mouth was covered by Meredith's hand. She peeked at the stairs to see whether Cristina is there. Luckily, Cristina has already went into her room, she didn't hear anything Zola said.

"Shu… Zozo, this is a secret between mommy and you! Just pretend it is Uncle Alex and Auntie Jo's wedding alright? Don't ask any question okay? Good girl." Meredith squatted and talked to Zola. Zola nodded her head slightly, and Meredith gave her a kiss on her forehead. "Have you finished your cereal? Okay, then go put on your dress, you can do that by yourself right?"

"Mer… Why is this dress looked so… it's like the dress of a bridesmaid!" Cristina walked downed the stairs and twisted in her dress uncomfortable.

"Yeah… yeah! We are Alex's, um, best men! Right, we are his best men! But then he said he… he don't want us to wear a tux cause it's just so creepy. So we are wearing a bridesmaid dress instead." Meredith blinked her eyes innocently as she lied. Cristina gave her another suspicious look while she tried her best to put on a guiltless face. Luckily Cristina did not question her, she took Ellis from Meredith's arms and let her go change.

Meredith smiled at her best friend thankfully and quickly went upstairs. She put on a turquoise satin dress and braided her hair hurriedly. Her phone rang again as she was about to leave the room, she closed the door and picked it up.

"What?"

"We are coming, stop urging us! You are not my boss anymore, stop ordering me around!"

"I told her its Alex's wedding. She believed me. Our plan will work don't worry!"

"Right, I will see you there. Bye!"

She hung up the phone, check her make up one last time and stepped out of her bedroom.

* * *

"I still can't believe Evil Spawn is actually getting married. Is Wilson out of her mind?" Cristina asked Meredith for the countless time.

Meredith rolled her eyes again and replied her with the sentence she has been repeating throughout the ride, "They love each other. Stop questioning! You should be happy for Alex to finally settling down!"

"Fine I will stop." Cristina mumbles and looked out from the window instead. The car turned left and stopped in front of the courthouse. Cristina got off the car and opened the backseat door for the kids. She held Zola's hand as she followed Meredith to the room Alex is going to get married in.

Meredith pushed the door opened, and the man standing at the end of the aisle, next to the judge is not Alex. It's Burke. He is wearing a black tux, like the one he wore at their wedding. He smiled at Cristina and walked towards her slowly.

She couldn't move her body. She couldn't breathe. She can't tell whether it is her hallucination or reality. She let go of Zola, who ran back to her mother immediately.

She reached her throat unconsciously, like that choker was still on her neck. Seeing him in the same tuxedo as ten years ago reminds her of the devastating pain she felt when he walked away.

 _'I'm up there waiting for you to come down the aisle, and I knew you don't want to come.'_

 _'I know you don't want to come but that you'll come anyway because you love me.'_

 _'_ _If I loved you, not the woman that I'm trying to make you be, not the woman that I hope you'll become. If I did...I wouldn't be up there waiting for you.'_

 _'I would be letting you go.'_

 _'I really wish that you didn't think. I wish that you knew.'  
_  
Not a single day in the past ten years had she forgot what he said to her on their wedding day. From time to time she still dream of that day, when she walked into their apartment and found out that he has gone. He vanished from her life, like he had never existed.

 _'He's gone.'_

 _'His trumpet was here. His entire Eugene Foote collection... His grandmother's picture was by the bed. His lucky scrub cap was hanging on the door. He's gone.'_

 _'I'm...I'm free. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.'_

 _'Take this off! Take this off! Please… I can't…'_

He reached her and grabbed her hands. "Cristina." He murmured her name. She looked into his eyes and asked, "I thought… this was Alex's wedding?"

"No." He chuckled. "That was a lie."

She turned to look at Meredith angrily, but he turned her around to face him again.

"Don't be angry with Meredith. It was my idea. This is my surprise for you. This is OUR wedding day, not Karev's."

"Oh you are out of your mind. You are married!"

"Not anymore." He grinned at her. "Edra and I got a divorce. I am officially single now."

* * *

"Preston! I thought you are coming home on Friday!" Edra opened the door and found her husband standing outside their house. He was supposed to be in Zurich giving a talk to the young interns this week.

He entered their house. It was as neat as usual. He used to find his house cosy and warm, but today everything makes him feel guilty. As he is going to destroy his happy family in a few seconds. He clenched his briefcase tightly and said, "Edra, I have something I needed to talk to you about."

His wife doesn't seem to know what is coming. She sat down beside him on the couch and waited for him to speak. He took out a file and gave it to her. She opened it curiously and couldn't believe what she saw.

"Divorce papers…? You are divorcing me?" Edra asked her husband. Her beloved husband. She was shocked to see these papers. She had always been the dream of most women: beautiful, well-educated, wealthy, married to a successful husband and have two adorable kids… Her life is perfect. And divorce isn't a term that would come up in a perfect person's perfect life.

"I am sorry. I am. But…"

"What did I do wrong? Why do you have to divorce me?" Tears ran down her cheek. Burke sighed and decided to tell her the truth.

"You did nothing wrong. I did. I am the one who is wrong. I cheated on you, for three years." He confessed to his wife. She couldn't believe what her husband just said. She couldn't believe her wonderful family was already gone three years ago.

"Is… is she someone I know? Is she someone from the hospital?"

"You… kind of know her. It was Cristina." She grasped in shock. So her husband has been going back to the hospital frequently because of her, not because he wanted to make sure his hospital is running smoothly.

"I wanted to know everything." She demanded. "What is so special about her? What is the thing that she can give you while I can't?"

"Edra…" He sighed. He really don't want to tell her everything about Cristina. He has hurt this woman so much already, he doesn't want to hurt her further. But he know Edra would never be satisfied if he don't tell her everything. He had no choice but to tell her everything.

"Cristina… she was my fiancée ten years ago. We were about to get married, but I left her at the altar, because I think I am her burden. The way I love her… it's consuming, and at the end it is suffocating, for both of us. She bent herself just please me and mama, she changed herself for me. She became the woman I wanted, but she is no longer the woman I fell in love with. That is when I realized I am nothing but harmful to her. I have to set her free. I believed that, if I love her, I should have let her go." He paused, closing his eyes to swallow the pain he endured when he walked out on her, the love of his life.

"So… you realized you made a mistake, and you hire her to your institute, so that you can be with her whenever you want?" Edra wiped away the tears on her cheek and tried to act strong. But the tears wouldn't stop falling down.

"No. Quite the contrary, I didn't thought I would be with her when I invited her to Zurich for a talk. I told her I would step away from the institute, because working with her again will ruin my life and my family. I decided to leave, and I am going to leave. But when we do the final surgery together, I found out that nothing had changed my love for her. She is standing opposite to me, I couldn't fight the urge to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am for walking out on us. We tried to end this, we know it is wrong. But we can't. I guess the decision of hiring her here really ruined my family."

"Have you… ever loved me? Or am I just the rebound girl?" This is the only thing she wanted to know. She is a smart woman, and she understands that there is no way she can save her marriage now. All she wanted to know is, did this man, the father of her kids, had ever truly cares about her. If not, her life will be so pathetic and ridiculous. She looked at him pleadingly, hoping to hear something she would want to hear.

"Yes. I have loved you. You are my best friend for the last couple of years. And I loved our family. "

"Just not as much as you loved her."

He avoided her glaze out of guilt. He whispered, "…Yes."

Edra closed her eyes and let her tears flow out of her eyes, running down her cheeks freely. Then she took a deep breath and signed the papers in front of her swiftly. She handed them to Burke with a faint smile. "I want you to be happy, and I want you to be with someone you love."

He took the papers from her, and gave her the last hug, as a friend. "Thank you, and I am sorry."

* * *

"So you are getting married with me. Here. Today?"

"Yes. Unless you don't want to." He raised his eyebrows and said.

"I… wait, let me figure this out first. This is THE courthouse. I thought you always wanted a fairy tale-like wedding in a dreamy church"

"We had tried to get married in a church, and that didn't work out. So I figured maybe we should do it the way you like it, a small ceremony with our close friends." He grinned victoriously to Cristina.

"How long have you been planning this? And Mer has been helping you?"

"Not really. I planned the wedding for two months, and I think most of the people in this room are involved."

"You went behind my back for two months?" She screamed disbelievingly. Now she finally got the chance to scan around the room and see who is there. Mer and Alex are here, of course, sitting at the first row with the kids, Jo, Bailey, Ben and Richard. Her mother and step-father, as well as Burke's parents are sitting on the first row of the left side. Most of the guests are people working at Grey-Sloan, the other attendings are sitting together at the second and third row, and the interns and residents who are close with them are also here, like Stephanie and DeLuca. She look to her left side, and was surprised to see Addison holding a little boy in her lap. Addison smiled warmly at her, and focusing on her child again. The wicked witch of Cardio, aka Erica Hahn, was also there. She was sitting next to a woman who seems to be her wife.

"You invited Erica Hahn?" She whispered.

"Well, I don't like that woman either, but she invited me to her wedding. It's a courtesy to do the same." He answered honestly.

"And Addison. I didn't know you two are friends."

"I ran into her once in Paris. Since then we have been calling each other and chatting when we are free."

"It's about time to start the ceremony, right Preston?" Jane Burke cleared her throat and said loudly, reminding Burke and Cristina that they have been whispering for too long.

Meredith stood up and ran to Burke's side, handing him a ring and dragged him to the altar. "Cristina, go to the back of the room and walk down the aisle… no, the hallway. Do you need a prep talk?"

"No, I don't need it this time. I am steady and sure what do I want."

"Great." Meredith smiled at her and gestured for Cristina' step-father, Saul, to walk her down the aisle.

"Cristina. I know I am not your father, but you have always been my daughter. I am very glad to see you finding your right person. I am very proud of you and… I am grateful to be the one walking down the aisle with you." Saul whisper to Cristina as they walked. She looked at her step-father and hugged him when they reached where Burke and the judge are standing.

"Thank you, Saul. I am also very grateful to have you being my step-father." Saul hugged his daughter back tightly, and give her hand to Burke.

"Today, we gathered here to witness the marriage of Preston Burke and Cristina Yang. Do you have a vow prepared?" The judge started the ceremony and is waiting for them to read their vow. Out of everyone's expectation, both Burke and Cristina had nothing to say.

"I thought you had a vow!" Cristina whispered to Burke irritatingly.

"I thought you have one too! How come you don't have one?"

"Yeah, I must be insane to prepare a vow on my friend's wedding, no, my friend's FAKE wedding."

"You could come up with one just now! You are always proud of your last-minute preparations."

"Can I remind you that I only got the news of ME getting married 20 minutes ago? What about you? You've got plenty of time."

"I don't think we needed one."

"What?" Cristina is confused. Last time when they TRIED to get married, he was so pissed off when he knows that she didn't want to do a vow. Ten years later, they just miraculously doesn't need one anymore?

"In the last ten years, I realized that words means nothing when it comes to love. What matters is how I show you my love. I prepared a beautiful vow for you last time, I said I will cherish you and love you in the vow, but I didn't do what I promised to do. This time, I am not going to drown you with meaningless words, I am going to attain my promises with action. That's why we don't need a vow this time." He stared into Cristina's eyes and muttered to her seriously. She couldn't control the grin on her face.

"How about we just skip this part?" The judge stopped their endless staring into each other's' eyes by proceeding to the next section of the ceremony.

"Preston, do you take Cristina as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"Yes, I do." He announced to everyone in the church with a huge grin on his face. He slid the ring onto her fingers.

"Cristina, do you take Preston as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do." She whispered with a gentle smile, and put the beautiful platinum ring onto his finger.

"By the authority vested in me by the State of Washington, I now declared you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

All the guests stand up and clapped for them. Burke pulled Cristina into his arms and landed a kiss on her lips. They have been waiting for this day too long.

 **THE END**


End file.
